This is how I feel when I could literally take a gun to my mouth. The taste of the metal against my teeth… Realizing I really do hate myself in all of my entirety. It’s pathetic really. I’m not seeking any attention - it’s just how it is. I’m disgusted.
And I know they talked about it - how I would if I were them. Fucking pathetic.
Some days it seems so hard to even look at myself in the mirror. Of course we all have that feeling every now and then but when I get like this it’s just ridiculous.
Fuck. I don’t know if people make me super pissed or jealous… It’s more than likely a combination of nth - I get pisses because I’m jealous of what someone has or how they feel or what theyve gone through or what they have going on. Im slightly drunk - I could go on.
I feel like im in a box. I want to disappear. I feel invisible but yet if I were to get up to leave thru would notice. I don’t want to be questioned. My anxiety makes me panic, I’m panicked already.
I hate being babysat. I hate all these feelings…. Im so done
i’m so fucking irritated with my roomate… she makes a huge dinner feast with her boy-fuck and then leaves the mess EVERYWHERE… they have mcdonalds beverages and leave them on the table with their plates and then the kitchen looks like a bomb went off…. i came home from work and everything is STILL THERE… including potatoes chillin in a pan covered in fruit-flies… fucking disgusting. i cleaned the house spotless the other day. it is SO FRUSTRATING. and then she comes down says “oh! youre doing my dishes??? i was going to do them later after danielles hair…” as if she fucking was…. UGH.
so i’m back to do all my whining on tumblr. twitter ended up being great but it allowed the world to see my psycho… it’s not that i really give a fuck but you know it’s bad when people askk your boyfriend what is wrong with you all the time. bleh. i am a dramatic person… i can’t help it. it’s part of who i am. but i guess tumblr is safer to whine and complain to… i don’t know many of you out in tumb-land… it’s a good thing too because you more than likely wouldn’t like me.
so be prepared to hear all of my woes and constant think i’m going to kill myself. get over it…. or stop following because idgaf.